hmmmmmmmmm...
been reading some blogs and i wonder
1. how come i cant express as much angst or strong deep emotions towards my life? is it my inability to express using words due to my limited vocabulary?
2. is it that im too simple-minded, i just think hard about something and next moment i'm back to doing other things again?
I think its the 2nd one. lol sorry, too stupid for emotion-ful ppl. hehe
My life seems to be revolving round studies, family, friends and boyfriend and I don't have much angst or feeling that undergoing adulthood is a challenge. It's nothing stressful that requires me to blog about it.
oh no, maybe my life is mundane. but no eh, i think i really love how my life is right now. I'm doing readings that I'm pretty sure will get me to where I want in the future.
Just that one thing I really wanna improve: to be more filial to my parents.
Oh yes, that's the one big 'problem' in my life right now, to be more filial. Sometimes I just don't know how to express my feelings or to come up with a topic to chat with them about. My mum will do that automatically but I really do need some work with my dad. Is it only me or is it the whole world's kids are having this kind of problem? and I always rely on my boyfriend to do such favors for me. I guess I really need one who can communicate to parents well. haha
Oh yes, another problem running through my head: I think i'm too coward when it comes to relationships. I carry this invisible shield, protecting me from being hurt and I think its working fine. Now I wonder, why am I scared? Am I traumatized in the past? Oh yea.. before Kendrick came into my life, there's this guy whom I dated for 1 month or so (can't really remember) and he sorta ditched me. Is he the cause of my insecurities? I remember I was feeling pretty bad, I used to think I can give everything to the one I love and him suddenly leaving me makes me feels rather helpless. but its just that 1 month, can it be so impactful? I wonder... or is it something else? or am i born like that? trying to find that hidden part in my brain so I could work harder and be someone better :D
I'm someone who believes in eternity, who believes in love that lasts forever. I just need to find someone who feels the same, who thinks the same, whom I can give my trust to. My love is abit like a fairytale, but ya I really do feel that when I'm in love so I kinda believe in the existence. haha Its just not easy and I just don trust ppl that easily when it comes down to heart matters. hmmmmmm.... hehe :D but that aside, I'm still quite an easygoing person.
Ah-ha~ now i'm a few steps closer to know more bout myself. hmmm.. that's something new for today. :D
No comments:
Post a Comment